When you think about BDSM, you’ll probably find yourself imagining whips, chains, latex bodysuits, and all manner of toys and bondage tools.
However, BDSM is not always just about the wild end of the spectrum of sex, there are other techniques and fun things that you can try to spice up your sex life.
One of the many things that makes sex so great is the orgasm. That feeling of utter euphoria instantly boosts your mood and makes you feel like you’re floating on air.
So, why not try making your next orgasm that bit kinkier? If this sounds good to you, then try the ‘ruined orgasm’.
So, what exactly is a ruined orgasm? Let’s find out!
What Is A Ruined Orgasm?
A ruined orgasm is exactly what it sounds like.
A ruined orgasm is when someone is taken to the peak of intensity on the way to an orgasm, and just as that feeling of euphoria is about to shiver through their body, the orgasm is ruined.
Ruined orgasms are often considered a part of BDSM as it is all about control and power between the participants or the couple.
There’s definitely an element of sadistic pleasure, as one person is dominating the other, controlling their ability to feel pleasure, and holding power over them, leaving them helpless and powerless to their control.
If domination, power, and control are something that you enjoy, or if it is a kink for yourself, then you may find great pleasure in trying out a ruined orgasm.
Why Should You Try A Ruined Orgasm?
For the majority of people, there’s nothing worse than experiencing that feeling of loss when you’re just about to reach orgasm, and something goes wrong or changes and the sensation drops away and disappears.
For others, a ruined orgasm can be a fun and kinky way to fetishize sex and let some of their sensual fantasies run freely. For these types of people, experiencing a ruined orgasm can be a form of pleasure, and can bring a sense of satisfaction.
If you are a dominant, then a ruined orgasm will appeal to you as it will give you a sense of pleasure due to the control you have over the submissive.
A ruined orgasm is therefore another means of control over a submissive, which can be rewarding for the both of you.
Alternatively, as a submissive, you may enjoy the sense of denial, and it could make you want to receive sexual pleasure even more.
Some submissives like to feel the sense of disappointment and humiliation, or the feeling that they are not deserving of the orgasm, and the dominant is not allowing them to have it. It brings a sense of a loss of control, which many people enjoy as it can release stress in everyday life.
For other submissives, they may not like a ruined orgasm for the humiliation aspect, but simply because they want to be controlled.
Likewise, the dominant may not like to control and have power over their partner, but they may ruin their orgasm because they know they enjoy it sexually and receive pleasure from it.
The only thing is that everyone is different, we all like different things, and we all have boundaries.
So, if you are interested in trying a ruined orgasm, then ensure that you and your sexual partner have discussed this beforehand, agreed on terms, and both of you consent.
You will also have to communicate properly to ensure that there are no crossed wires.
Different Kinds Of Ruined Orgasms
There are various kinds of ruined orgasms, for instance, you can have a completely ruined orgasm, where the dominant fully ruins the orgasm before it happens, and so the submissive is not allowed or able to orgasm.
On the other hand, you can have partially ruined orgasms, where the submissive may slightly experience orgasm, but it is not as satisfying as it should have been because the dominant controlled it.
In other cases, a ruined orgasm can happen unintentionally. I’m sure we’ve all been there, just as you’re about to topple over the edge, something happens and the orgasm goes away.
Whether it’s your dog interrupting, or someone all of a sudden changing positions, and no longer hitting that perfect sweet spot, your orgasm can be ruined quite easily.
If an orgasm is ruined accidentally, then it is a normal part of sex and not BDSM.
However, purposefully ruining an orgasm is a part of BDSM, and is a means of control, and is part of power play.
If you did not agree upon this or consent to it, then it can be emotionally traumatic for some people, so ensure that it is something that you both want to experience and experiment with.
How Does A Ruined Orgasm Feel?
A ruined orgasm feels exactly how you would imagine.
Just picture yourself enjoying a little solo play or masturbating, and all of a sudden, someone walks in on you or calls you from another room and interrupts just as you’re about to orgasm. It’s distracting, jarring, and makes you feel interrupted or woken from the perfect dream.
If this has ever happened to you, then you know what a ruined orgasm would feel like.
It’s like when you’re about to reach the peak of your orgasm, and fall over the edge into utter bliss, and then your partner suddenly stops, or says something, or changes position, and you no longer feel that beautiful sensation.
It can be frustrating, disappointing, and irritating as you struggle to reach that sensation, but for some people, this can be exciting and exhilarating.
How To Try A Ruined Orgasm
As long as all parties are consensual, and you have discussed your plans to try a ruined orgasm, then there are a few methods you can try.
For instance, you can try over-stimulation.
This is where you stimulate your partner too much, and is particularly useful when your partner orgasms, and they are ultra-sensitive during and afterward. Whilst they are in this sensitive mode, try stimulating them too much to ruin the orgasm.
You can also try using a fun technique called the ‘dead vibrator’.
You use a toy or vibrator to stimulate your partner. Then, pretend that it’s running out of battery or power, to lead your submissive up to the point of orgasm. Before the vibrator ‘dies’ you pull it away and ruin the intensity of the orgasm.
Another method of ruining an orgasm is using verbal domination.
You can have your submissive agree to listen to your demands and commands whilst playing, and if you tell them to stop masturbating immediately, and they obey, they will not be able to orgasm.
What’s The Difference Between A Ruined Orgasm And Edging?
Edging is often confused with a ruined orgasm, as it can be a similar concept.
However, during edging, the orgasm is extended and heightened to increase enjoyment and gratification, whereas a ruined orgasm destroys and minimizes the feeling of pleasure.
That being said, edging is also a means of power play and orgasm control that can be kinky.
To summarize, ruined orgasms are a means to dominate, control, and exert power over a submissive sexual partner.
It is a form of BDSM, as it can be a kink for some people, that can be very interesting to try out. Just remember to ensure that everyone involved is happy, consenting, and respected.