As sexuality has become less and less taboo in society over the last 60 years (and particularly in the last 10 or so years), BDSM has become more prominent and popular.
The letters have several meanings that include a huge range of different sexual activities and ideas.
These encompass bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism.
A full explanation of everything that BDSM can be would fill an extremely long book, so here I’ll just give you the broad strokes (if you’ll pardon the pun).
We’ll first take a look at how dominance and submission work in general, before moving on to what exactly a brat is and how it fits into that dynamic.
Dominance And Submission – How It Works
One of the most common dynamics in BDSM is that of a dominant and submissive partner.
These roles are known by a wide range of different names, some of which sometimes have slightly different, overlapping meanings.
For example, a female dominant is sometimes called a domme, a dominatrix, a mistress, and might be addressed as domina.
The submissive partner is sometimes called a sub, a slave, a pet, etc. These can all imply slightly different dynamics or activities between the two participants.
At this point, it’s extremely important to point out that everything that goes in a BDSM relationship, as in all sexual relationships, needs to be consensual.
When people engage in BDSM, they’re playing at giving up control or taking control over another to act out a sexual fantasy. It is not real, and BDSM is not an excuse to pressure or force anybody into doing anything that they’re not comfortable with.
It’s good practice to use safe words in BDSM play.
A safe word is a word that, once spoken, ends the sexual activity and BDSM dynamic immediately.
The dominant should then check in with the submissive to make sure they’re okay. If the submissive is going to be gagged or otherwise unable to speak, make sure you work out some non-verbal cues, so they can stop whenever they need to.
With all that said, let’s get back to the nitty-gritty of dominance and submission.
In a dom/sub relationship, the sub follows the orders of the dominant.
This can often include sexual orders – being forced to perform oral sex, for example, or being forced to assume a certain position.
However, it can also include things that are not sexual in themselves, such as cleaning a house or serving food and drinks.
There is typically a lot of overlap between the dom/sub dynamic and other aspects of BDSM like bondage, pain, and discipline.
For example, a dominant may tie their submissive up to restrict their movement, and spank or whip them as a punishment for disobedience.
However, it is also perfectly possible to have a dom/sub relationship that doesn’t include these things.
It’s also possible for dom/sub relationships to involve roleplay – maybe the dom is a teacher and the sub is a student, or the dom could be a police officer arresting the sub. Of course, there are thousands of possibilities here.
So, What Is A Brat In BDSM?
Now you’ve got an idea of how dominance and submission work in general, it’s time to find out what brats are and how they fit into everything.
Well, in the usual dom/sub dynamic, the sub just follows the dom’s orders.
They might not get it right every time, but in general, they’re trying to please.
A brat is different.
A brat is a sub who deliberately rebels against their dom’s commands. This is because they’re trying to get their dom to treat them even more strictly and give them even harsher punishments.
Brats specifically love the aspect of being put in their place by their dom.
This can be done in all kinds of ways. For example, a bratty sub who’s ordered to give a blowjob might refuse, leading the dom to grab them by their hair and force them to suck.
Or a sub who’s being spanked as a punishment, rather than whimpering, might taunt their dom by saying “Is that all you’ve got?” so that the dom will spank them even harder.
It can also involve trying to physically escape from the dom, or by asking the dom to do something while pretending to submit – topping from the bottom.
For example, saying something like “Please whip me!”, while seemingly submissive, is actually an attempt to give orders to the dom.
Someone who holds a dominant role over a brat is sometimes called a brat tamer. Their goal is to get their brat to drop their bratty, defiant attitude and submit to them completely – taming the brat.
This can be just as much fun for the tamer as for the brat! For example, the tamer can leave the brat tied up in a painful position until they beg to be released or whip them harder and harder until they stop asking for more.
It’s important to note that a brat tamer should not be genuinely annoyed or angry with their brat’s brattiness. The point of the dynamic is that it’s playful and fun for everyone involved, and the dom should ultimately enjoy their brat’s antics.
How Can I Start Brat Play?
Maybe you and your partner are already doing kinky stuff and you just want to take it to the next level with brat play. Or perhaps brat play is going to be your introduction to BDSM as a whole.
Either way, the best way to get started is to talk with your partner about what you’d like to try, and, just as importantly, about what you don’t want to try.
Some people find it very useful to show their partner some porn that gets them hot to show them exactly what they want to do. It’s usually not the best idea to bring up brat play for the first time in a sexual situation, as putting someone on the spot like that might make them uncomfortable.
It’s natural to be a little confused and unsure of what to do, to begin with. That’s no problem. You can start with small things.
For example, if your partner is dominant, you could try flashing them a cheeky smirk when they’re telling you off or punishing you.
From there, you can work up to other ways of showing them their punishments are too light, and then start to refuse orders.
One hot thing you might try is deliberately getting something wrong. For example, you might say “Yeah, I forgot to buy more coffee. What are you going to do about it?”.
Your dom can then show you exactly what they’re going to do about it!
Final Thoughts
Now you’ve read this article, you should be up to speed on what a brat is in BDSM, and how you can start to incorporate the brat/brat tamer dynamic into your sex life if you’re interested.
Just remember that, like all sex, BDSM, including brat play, requires the total informed consent of all parties involved. Talk about it before you try it and you’ll have an amazing time!
