One of the things I’m asked about all the time is Female Ejaculation or Squirting. This most mysterious of occurrences seems to divide the population. I’ve had people argue with me its not real, say to me its something invented for porn or complain that it’s just another thing to make men or women feel inadequate. STOP RIGHT THERE. Let’s put some of this bollocks to bed.
Firstly, and most importantly I can confirm 110% squirting is real. It happens to me, and many women I know. It’s not something that can be denied as there is actual physical proof of it! I regularly soak my bedding or find myself lying in puddles after sex or play. Please don’t try to suggest I would fake this in my room on my own, for what? My own benefit? This is ridiculous.
No Offence Intended
As for being invented for porn I first squirted when I was 17. I’d never even heard of female ejaculation and thought I’d wet myself on my parent’s sofa. I was mortified. It was years before I understood or accepted what was happening to me. It’s not intended to make anyone feel inadequate anymore than male ejaculation is. It’s just a thing that happens. No offence intended.
Secondly how would you fake it? I’ve heard stories of women having fluid placed into their vagina before porn is shot for the intention of squirting. Well I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure if I filled my vagina with fluid it would simply leak out? I certainly don’t have the waterproof seal needed to hold it in there for an indefinite period possibly involving penetration only to force it out in a fountain style explosion.
The Common Myth
I’ve been squirting before on and off for an hour during prolonged intense sessions. Where is all that coming from? It just seems to come and come, I’m stunned at the amount of fluid produced and sometimes at the trajectory it achieves.
Ah I know… maybe it’s the age-old story of “That’s piss, that is.” Nope it certainly isn’t. I know this for sure because I know how it feels to empty my bladder, and I know when I’m pissing and when I’m not. Ok, lets educate ourselves a little.
The fluid expelled during squirting originates in the “female prostate” otherwise known as the Skene Glands. Although the fluid appears to be produced here it usually requires G Spot stimulation for squirting to occur.
Female ejaculation comes in a couple of forms, squirting and gushing. Both are productive and impressive or scary depending on your PoV. When you squirt the fluid sprays out, often at some serious force and can travel some distance. Gushing results in a pouring of fluid, sometimes I feel this happen but can’t see it as if something is inside me it gushes out around and below it. There is no real rhyme or reason for me as to one or the other happening.
The G Spot
The G Spot is a small area in the vagina, positioned somewhere between 0.5 and 2 inches back on the front wall of the vagina, heading towards your stomach. This makes stimulating the G Spot very much dependant on positioning as it’s not in a naturally accessible place.
The G Spot feels different to the rest of the vaginal walls, it’s not smooth but has a rougher, more spongy texture. When touched the G Spot creates extreme feelings of pleasure in a woman. It’s a hot spot in the vagina and for me beats any other form of penetrative stimulation. The G Spot is the place where the nerve roots of the clitoris lay. That’s why it’s so sensitive.
I’m always wildly amused when I hear the G Spot doesn’t exist. Erm, ok then explain how I’m touching it? The G Spot is the key to unlocking a lot of internal sexual pleasure as well as squirting so it’s well worth getting to know.
Getting to Know Your G Spot
If you aren’t as well acquainted with your G Spot as me then take the time to do this. The best way is to spend a little time exploring yourself. Try not to be too goal orientated, but next time you’re masturbating lay on your back and hook your fingers up inside you. With the fingertips facing up.
Gently probe around and see if you can feel the difference in texture. The G Spot swells as we become aroused so the more turned on you are the more likely you are to find it. Once you can locate the G Spot yourself you are far more likely to be able to direct someone else to it. As with any sexual pleasure knowing your own body is vital.
Learning to Squirt
Great so we know where the G Spot is now, how do we squirt? Any woman that tells me she wants to be able to do this I always advise the same thing, try on your own with a toy at first. Doing it as a couple is all good and well but then there is a pressure to perform. It’s not a handstand, it’s a complicated sexual process.
So, firstly invest in a good G Spot dildo or vibrator. For me personally my choice would be a dildo as I don’t always enjoy all vibrations against my G Spot, but I do enjoy penetrative stimulation. A G Spot dildo usually has a curved shaft and a pronounced head. The curve in the shaft is to ensure the head meets that tricky upward angle and the large head gives as much stimulation as possible.
Preparation is Key
Secondly find some alone time, this isn’t one to try in the bath or shower. Or when there’s a chance of being disturbed. Make sure you have the house to yourself for ultimate relaxation. Prepare your bed by laying some towels down first, this prevents you from panicking if it does happen. It’s very hard to predict how much ejaculate you will produce so it’s best to be prepared.
I have a fluid-proof sheet from Sheets of San Francisco who specialise in fluid proof, comfortable bedding. This is perfect for preventing your mattress becoming totalled by body fluids and prevents wet patch woes. It’s not cold or sticky like rubber sheeting and collects whole puddles. It’s a literal god send. Check out their site for more info.
Lay on your back with your knees bent in a missionary type position. Apply some lube to the shaft of the toy and insert in inside you. Begin slowly and you should start to feel the sensation of your G Spot being stimulated. For me this intensifies as I speed up penetration.
The Tricky Bit… The Urge to Wee
Now here is the tricky bit, and why I think a lot of women never squirt. The sensation before you ejaculate is very similar to wanting a wee. But you won’t, I’ve never wet myself during sex. You need to go with the feeling and not stop the stimulation. You need to push into the sensation to release the fluid. At first this will feel very alien but with time your body learns what to do and eventually does it without your assistance. I can be made to squirt now without me even thinking about it.
The most important thing to remember here is to not expect too much. It takes time, patience and exploration to make this happen. But when it happens it feels so good. If you’re doing this make sure it’s for you, and not for a partner. You aren’t a performing monkey and shouldn’t be expected to do tricks to stroke someone else’s ego.
Come Hither Motion
When trying to help a female partner squirt by far the most successful method used on me and that I’ve used on other women is to do it with my fingers. I have far more control over what’s going on and can feel the G Spot so know I’m in the right place. Sliding your fingers palm up into the vagina, two is best, use a “come hither” motion as if beckoning someone towards you, gradually speed this up following her for cues, she’ll let you know if she’s loving it and tell you she wants more.
So, to recap. Yes, female ejaculation is very much a real thing. Yes. it feels amazing. No, it’s not just made up for porn. No, its not piss. And yes, it’s possible to teach yourself to do it. If you want to. So, can we please stop categorising it with unicorns and Big Foot sightings.