Every now and then something new hits the sex toy market and makes a bit of a splash. The most recent example of this has been Zumio. I will admit when I first saw Zumio I didn’t think it would work for me. The stimulation looked like it was too pinpoint. When Carolyn at Betty’s Toy Box offered me the chance to review it I was curious and excited.
Usually when I want to review a product myself I try to avoid reading too many of my fellow reviewers takes on it. I don’t want to prejudice myself either way. But Zumio had me so intrigued I broke this rule and read a few. Zumio seemed to be very much a polarising toy. People either loved it or hated it.
When my Zumio arrived apart from cooing at the gorgeous rainbow packaging I noticed there was quite a lot of information on the box. Perusing this I was surprised to read that Zumio say their toy is built for speed. The box claims;
“Only have a few minutes? Zumio is built for speed to bring you fast and intense orgasms”
I was sceptical. I’m very responsive and I can count on one hand the number of toys that can get me off in a few minutes with no other stimulation. If this can get there from the starting blocks, I’ll be very surprised.
Inside the box sat Zumio. I realised it was sat in its charging unit and was struck by how much it looked like an electric toothbrush minus the head. So, what is Zumio? It’s an oscillator, rather than stimulating via vibration it uses a small probe like tip which oscillates rapidly in little circles.
Born of Frustration
Zumio say the concept was born out of frustration when a busy single mum wanted a fast orgasm but couldn’t find the stimulation she wanted. The oscillation is based on the circular finger motion used to stimulate the clitoris when a woman touches herself.
Zumio is purple in colour and has a nice sturdy handle, much like the toothbrush. The body is made of ABS and silicone and the tip is ABS. I wonder idly whilst playing with the Zumio in my hand why they didn’t opt for a silicone tip? The tip itself is just 1 ¼ inches long, very thin and ends in a small ball. It feels hard and if I’m honest I wince slightly at the thought of that little ball oscillating against my clit.
Annoying Control Positioning
The controls of Zumio are situated down on the silicone area of the handle. They consist of three buttons, a power button, and +/- buttons which sit in a figure of 8 loop. The controls are super responsive which is great, but the positioning is off for me. Its far too low. When using the Zumio I must inch my fingers down the handle or use my other hand to change setting. This is what I’ve started doing as its easier than using the hand holding Zumio.
Reading the instruction leaflet that came with Zumio there’s a helpful guide to how to use it. It suggests focusing the tip of Zumio on the “Pleasure Zone” which is basically the area around the clit and hood.
There is even a suggested way to use Zumio called the 60 second experience. I actually scoffed “Pah!!” aloud when I read that. I’m not loving the name of this experience as its almost setting it up as a challenge. Some women may find Zumio just doesn’t work for them. It does state underneath the time is approximate and one to five minutes is more like it.
Time to try Zumio. I had left Zumio on my bedside table rather than putting it into the review pile. This is mainly because I had to charge it and the little pot it charges in was plugged in next to my bed. The first charge is a doozy. Around 16 hours to get a solid light, which was the first thing I noticed when I woke up on the Saturday morning.
Out of curiosity I reached for Zumio and switched it on. The Oscillation was so powerful even on the bottom setting. As I scrolled through the eight settings I was stunned to see a halo appear around the tip from the pure speed of the oscillation. Zumio call this SpiroTIP technology, I was impressed. I needed to try this now.
Skicking a little Sliquid across my clit as the intensity of the tip looked fierce. I began following the instructions in the leaflet and wow. The oscillation as I moved the tip across the top of my clitoral hood felt like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I was on the lowest setting and as I gently passed the tip around the clitoral area it radiated to my clit in delicious intense waves.
Thick Powerful Waves
Greedy for more I ramped the setting up a couple of notches. The speed of the tip noticeably increased, I found my other hand grabbing at my headboard as the pleasure heightened. I felt a strong urge to place the tip alongside my clit, as I would with a bullet or vibrator.
Placing it gently next to my clit and OH MY GOD. I came straight away. Now this wasn’t 60 seconds, but it was under 3 minutes. Shocking, the climax was deep and intense, coming in thick powerful waves which pulsed though me. I could audibly hear the sound change as my vulva began to pulse with it.
I was stunned, as I lay there recovering I removed Zumio from under my duvet to stare at it incredulously. This little plastic ball had just given me the best damn orgasm I’d had in ages. I actually laughed at how sceptical I’d been.
Is It Witchcraft?
Now sold I wanted to experiment further and pushed on with various settings. Over the space of an hour I had seven separate orgasms each with great intensity. I believe Zumio is witchcraft.
I don’t know how such a simple little plastic tip can feel so damn good, but it does! What really stuns me is the intensity of the climax, each one is strong and breath-taking. The sensation seems to pulse into my clit and builds quickly to what feels like a mini tsunami of pleasure. The waves it induces are unique, nothing I’ve tried comes close.
There are no words to describe how much I love Zumio. The only thing that’s ever come close to this is the first time I tried a Satisfyer/Womanizer. I thought that the air pulse technology of these toys was the best thing to happen to my clit, I stand corrected.
I’ve thoroughly abused Zumio since it arrived. It’s never made it into a drawer, or even the included little storage bag as it’s permanently laid on my bedside cabinet on standby. I’ve become very orgasm greedy.
If you don’t enjoy direct, pin point stimulation this may not be for you, but I can’t believe I was doubting of Zumio’s abilities. It’s black magic of the best kind. It gives me consistently the best orgasms I’ve had in a long time. Despite it’s massive kick Zumio is also super quiet, meaning I can use it anytime.