Porn is one of those great dividers of people. Some people just see it as part of life, an enjoyable way to get themselves off, or a nice accessory to a healthy sex life. Some see it as unnecessary and some even see their partner watching porn as a form of betrayal. I’ve never fully understood this myself but this is probably because I’m such a porn addict myself.
For me porn is essential. I have days where it’s my chosen muse for wanking and I’ve watched it with partners as a prelude to sex. I’m a regular visitor to Pornhub and will regularly comment on this on Twitter.
For years I’ve been a huge fan of Kink.com and their clips played a huge part in my realisation of how complex my own sexuality was. Watching the humiliation and submission of pretty girls at the hands of super Doms such as James Deen or my ultimate Fem Dom idol Diana Dolore, the formidable Princess Donna, turned me on incredibly. However it would be mood dependant as to which I’d prefer and I soon realised I was relating to one role or the other. Some days I’d find thinking about being restrained, spanked and abused would send me into spasms of submissive pleasure but other days I’d touch myself thinking of the control, imagining myself wielding the cuffs and crop to tease and torment some unworthy boy or girl. I wanted the best of both worlds. Much like I didn’t want to be restricted to one gender to play with, I didn’t want a particular role in my BDSM play.
There is one thing that slightly irks me about porn sites and that’s the category “For Women”. I’ve been solidly watching porn since I was about 17 and I can honestly say I have never once got myself off watching a “For Women” porn clip. I have quite hardcore tastes and prefer BDSM or Fetish porn anyway but I find it comical to think that the kind of clips in this section are what porn sites believe “ladies” like to watch. Sensual dicking, a friend of mine recently referred to it as. Now don’t get me wrong I enjoy an afternoon of gentle, sensual sex as much as the next person but I’m also dead partial to being thrown around the bedroom and nailed to the mattress and don’t really see how my gender is relevant in either instance?
Maybe there are men who enjoy watching sensual porn while jacking off? Why is it “For Women”? I recently went through the ladies category on a porn site and with the exception of one gentle girl on girl clip there was only straight, couple, vanilla sex. What the actual fuck??? The last time I looked i was definitely female and porn I’ve watched recently includes a gang bang, hardcore BDSM, a lesbian strap on threeway, Sex Machine D/s clips, FemDom slave porn and straight up public disgrace. What a patronising assumption that just because we have a vagina we probably only need uncomplicated, romanticized versions of sex.
The porn industry has made huge leaps in terms of shedding its misogynistic image with large production companies promoting Anti Domestic Abuse campaigns, especially in light of Christy Mack’s appalling ordeal and the advent of the Adult Performers Advocacy Committee, chaired by Chanel Preston, to promote and safeguard performers health and wellbeing on adult film sets. It seems strange then that large internet sites would choose to still have such a sexist categorisation of porn for women.
I’m not saying this kind of porn doesn’t have it’s place because it definitely does and it will have its fans. What I am suggesting is change the categorisation to “Vanilla” or even “Sensual” because to say that porn is “For Women” is a totally absurd.