FemmeFunn Vortex Series Turbo Baller Review


Realistic looking sex toys are often a bit hit and miss. It’s easy to whack some veins on a dildo and call it “realistic” but for me they often feel tacky and a let-down. When Bettys Toy Box sent me the FemmeFunn Vortex Series Turbo Baller to review it was a whole other story.

The FemmeFunn packaging is simple and unfussy but does bear a rather large image of the Turbo Baller. This isn’t one you would want to leave out in plain sight. However, fear not coz as always, the amazing people at Bettys Toy Box ensure your total discretion when parcelling up your toys. Your postman will not suspect a thing!

Realistic Fun

The very first thing that struck me about the FemmeFunn Turbo Baller was the total realism of the vibrator. The detail was crazy. The shaft is textured with veins and ridges and at the base of the shaft sit a pair of heavy balls. These too have delicate texturing on the surface giving them a shocking realism.

The head of the FemmeFunn Turbo Baller is the crowning glory for me. It almost perfectly resembles a cut cock. To the point where looking at it gives me a total thrill. I harbour a secret ick over realistic looking sex toys as they often feel a bit “hen night novelty” but the FemmeFunn Turbo Baller ignites my cock lust into a bonfire.

This impressive shaft sits on top of a large suction cup base. This is probably the biggest base I’ve seen on a vibrator and it makes it super stable when stood upright. Leading from the base is a wire connecting to a shiny pink and white control handset. This handset is the FemmeFunn Turbo Ballers control.

Separate Control

The Controls consists of two buttons, a power button and a boost button. Immediately I realise this will mean scrolling through settings. I really wish that toy manufacturers would realise what a total bonus having a +/- button is. If a toy has a ton of settings it’s great to be able to go up and down through the settings. Instead of travelling through a dozen to get to the one you like.

In size, the Turbo Baller is just under 8 inches in length so visually it’s quite a lump. 5.25 inches of that length is insertable so despite its initial appearance it is quite manageable. In girth, it’s 1.5 inches at the widest point.

Body Safe Silicone

The FemmeFunn Vortex Series Turbo Baller is made of body safe silicone and is latex and phthalates free making it very safe for internal play. However, being silicone, you must keep an eye on the lube you use with it. No oil based or silicone lubes as these can damage the surface of your Turbo Baller.

In texture, the silicone is slightly sticky to the touch and feels realistic with your eyes closed. This is great during use but it also means the Turbo Baller attracts hair and fluff like a magnet. Because the Turbo Baller is packaged in a good sturdy box I keep mine in the original packaging to counter this.

Hidden Charge Point

Being USB rechargeable the FemmeFunn Turbo Baller comes with a USB charging cable. However, it took me a few minutes to work out how to charge it. This is mainly because I’m an idiot who simply refuses to read instruction manuals. Had I of done I’d have realised the charge point is in the control.

After turning the Turbo Baller over in my hands, a dozen times looking for a sealed charger hole I finally consulted the book. Sliding the back off the control panel I located the hidden charge point. I definitely made this hard for myself.

Using The Turbo Baller

Using the FemmeFunn Vortex Series Turbo Baller is great fun. The Turbo Baller comes with 8 different vibration/rotation modes which offer lots of choice for different sensations. To switch the Turbo Baller on you press and hold the power button, pressing this button repeatedly moves through the settings. The Turbo Baller is a Vortex Series toy this means the shaft can rotate 360 degrees. This gives a “Tornado effect” to the shaft.

The boost button literally boosts the setting you’ve chosen. Adding extra speed and rotation. This is great for pushing you over that edge when you’re close.

Fantasy Play

So, what did I think of the Turbo Baller in use? Thrusting with the FemmeFunn Turbo Baller is amazing. The realistic look added a great thrill for both of us and enabled some really imaginative play as it was like having another cock in play.

The shaft length and girth was great and thanks to that heavy base I could either ride the Turbo Baller attached to a chair or the floor or hold the base and thrust it into me. The base acts as a sturdy handle which you would need as there is a fair bit of weight to the Turbo Baller. Top tip, I found if I wanted to ride the Turbo Baller on the bed you can use an upturned dinner plate as a great base surface to stick the suction cup to. This prevents sinking into the bed

Strong Vibrations

The vibrations are good and strong, even without the boost button I found I could orgasm with the Turbo Baller very easily. It would be fair to say I got quite carried away riding it the first time I used it and forgot about the boost button.

The beauty of having a control separate to the toy is it makes changing settings whilst you’re sat on the toy so much easier! Instead of reaching down and blindly groping around feeling for buttons you can just hold the control during play. Or better still give it to your playmate for added thrills. I love this element of the FemmeFunn Turbo Baller so much. I wish more toys had this control for ride on play.

Rotating Sensations

When the Turbo Baller rotates it’s a totally different sensation to riding a standard dildo. Being sat up on top of the shaft and feeling it rotate inside me is crazy good. I found it slowed my riding somewhat as I was scared to damage the shaft but it felt so great this wasn’t really an issue.

The only real con I found to using the FemmeFunn Turbo Baller was the weight when trying to stick the base to vertical surfaces. I found you must really slam the toy into the surface to get a decent suction. Otherwise as soon as you start to play the base comes unstuck. A small complaint but something to think about.

In Summary

I’ve found using the FemmeFunn Turbo Baller has bought an exciting new dimension to playing whilst my playmate watches. I’ve also got a new-found love of the realistic look. Bettys Toy Box sell the FemmeFunn Vortex Series Turbo Baller for $99.00 currently reduced from $129.00.

If like me you love to ride, the FemmeFunn Turbo Baller is a fantastic addition to any collection. Thank you to the amazing people at Bettys Toy Box for sending me the FemmeFunn Vortex Series Turbo Baller. I was sent this item free of charge in exchange for an honest and impartial review.



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