Bullet vibrators get a bad rep, overall. Often battery op weakly buzzing affairs the bullet can pale into insignificance compared with some toys on the market. But the amazing folks over at Betty’s Toy Box have sent me the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager which has made me sit up and take notice.
As soon as I removed the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager from the parcel I loved it’s look. The pale pink box and nice simple FemmeFunn packaging design add a fresh and modern look to the product. Although there is a product picture on the front of the box the Ultra Bullet is not at all phallic so at first glance it wouldn’t be immediately obvious it was a sex toy.
The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager itself is a real little pocket rocket. Made of gorgeous pink and purple silicone the Ultra Bullets design is a bit of me. The colours are bright and poppy and I feel immediately drawn to the toy simply by its look.
The Silicone is soft and stroke able, it’s hard to stop playing with in when it’s in my hand. There is a slight degree of friction to the matt surface but it doesn’t attract hair and fluff like some silicones. FemmeFunn say the Ultra Bullet is made of silicone inside and out, it is totally body-safe, non-toxic and non-porous. Hooray for body-safe toys!
In size, the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet is a little bigger than my palm. Measuring 4.3 inches in length and 1.1 inch in diameter the Ultra Bullet isn’t intended to be used internally. Although you can if you so desire. Its compact size makes the Ultra Bullet super easy to handle during use. Despite the diminutive size the Ultra Bullet is surprisingly weighty. With a definite lean towards the tip of the bullet in weight.
Included with the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager is a small pink storage bag and a USB charging cable. It’s recommended to give the Ultra Bullet a full charge before your first use. At the base of the bullet just above the button is a small sealed charge point. You need to force the pin of the charging cable through the silicone to make the connection.
The reason behind the sealed charge point is to make the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet waterproof. This is a great feature for a bullet as they make great bath time companions. It also means washing the Ultra Bullet is a breeze. Simply clean with warm soapy water after use and dry well.
Memory Function Controls
Controlling the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager is as easy as clicking a button. The Ultra Bullet is a one button operation. The button is situated on the base of the bullet, as is traditional with bullet vibes. The downside to this easy operation is the inability to scroll back through the settings. If you want to change the mode you need to click through all the other settings to find the one you want. This can be a bit jarring during use.
To combat this somewhat the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet has an inbuilt memory function. This means once you finish playing and switch the Ultra Bullet off it remembers which setting you were using. This is handy if like me you tend to have a favourite setting for your toys and stick to it.
So Much Choice!
There are 20 different vibration modes to choose from when using the Ultra Bullet. That’s a stunning amount of choice for such a small vibe and there is bound to be something to please everyone there. The patterns vary from steady vibrations to wavy gentle sensations to sharp juddering staccato modes. Despite not being a fan of patterned vibrations, I was able to find several that worked very well for me.
Turning the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager on requires simply pressing and holding the button for three seconds, repeating this operation switches the bullet off. Be aware this means the shut-down has a slight delay, not ideal if you need to switch it off in a hurry.
If like me you live in a busy house discretion is a priority. The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet is super quiet even on its highest settings. You can’t hear the Ultra Bullet through a closed door and so it’s incredibly useable.
The vibration on the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet is ridiculous. For such a small vibrator, there is a serious kick. The motor feels like it’s situated in the tip to deliver the vibrations most directly, however there is a degree of travel. This means during prolonged use you can suffer the dreaded finger tingle as the vibrations travel up the shaft.
The depth of the vibrations depends on the setting used but for me the stronger settings carry a good degree of depth and rumble. The real beauty of the Ultra Bullet for me is the variation of settings. If I’m in the mood for a gentle build up to a slow orgasm there is a setting for that. If I want a quick, instant gratification white hot climax there is a setting for that.
Using The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet
So how did I find using the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager? I always find applying a little lube over my clit improves any direct to clit stimulation. Remember if doing this that the silicone surface of the Ultra Bullet requires a water based lube to avoid damaging it. Once lubed, I switched the Ultra Bullet on and begin massaging the tip over my clit.
The vibrations from the Ultra Bullet feel like heaven as the silicone works against my clit. The silicone has a perfect amount of grab to make that massaging effect perfect, even with lube. Starting off on the steady vibration settings I found the sensation was enough to pull loud moans of pleasure from me as the Ultra Bullet did its thing.
As I felt my climax building I switched up to one of the wavy patterned settings and nestled the compact head of the Ultra Bullet alongside my clit. This is my favourite way of achieving climax with a vibrator clitorally and the size of the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet makes it perfect for this.
The deep rumbly waves very quickly pulled me into a deep and satisfying orgasm. Once recovered I switched the setting to one of the gentle steady modes and circled it over my now super sensitive clit to keep the sensations bubbling. I’m a huge fan of multiple orgasm and it’s always my bench mark for a toy.
Changing up the Sensation
As my clit began to ache and throb into its next orgasm I clicked to a hard-juddering pattern and slid the head back alongside it. WOW. My second climax slammed into me with such force I found myself grabbing my headboard as I came. The Ultra Bullet might not be loud but I certainly was whilst using it!
For me the sheer variety of choice in settings and the power of the vibrations in the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager make it incredible. I rarely opt to use bullets outside of reviewing but this one has been sat on my bedside table since it arrived. I find myself reaching for it again and again!
Dreaded Finger Tingle
So, this has been quite a gushy (pardon the pun) review… what did I dislike about the FemmeFun Ultra Bullet Massager if anything? My main and possibly only issue with the Ultra Bullet is the degree of vibration transfer during use.
Because I like to play through more than one orgasm the vibrations were seriously numbing my fingers by the time I was done. Maybe there needs to be more insulation between the little handle and the shaft. It is annoying but the pay-off from the Ultra Bullet is so good it’s not something which would stop me using it.
Betty’s Toy Box sell the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager in three gorgeous bright colours, purple, pink and aqua. You can get this amazing little vibe for just $59.99 and I can honestly say I was quite shocked when I saw the price of the Ultra Bullet as I expected it to be higher.