When I’m going out for the night I will quite happily spend hours getting ready just to stand in a bar and look pretty. I’ll bath for hours, sit with my hair in rollers all day, then spend the best part of the start of the evening sat at my dressing table filling in eyebrows and attaching false lashes, generally faffing about beautifying myself. I see no reason why I should put any less effort into getting ready for play time with my man.

I’ve had conversations with my friends about losing libido with age but I can honestly say no matter how tired I am or moody I can always find it in me for sex. It got me wondering how much of this is down to preparation? I’m not suggesting all sex should be a pantomime of preparation and we all love those Sunday morning lazy lay in type sessions but isn’t it nice to make the effort every now and then?

I have a serious lingerie addiction. I can always find an excuse to buy it and my email in-box is awash with lingerie suppliers touting their wares. There’s not much in the world as good for getting your juices flowing as looking in the mirror and knowing you look sexy. There’s a type of lingerie for every body size and shape including control lingerie. I have storage in my room filled with corsets, basques, chemises and babydolls. I take so much enjoyment out of the femininity of the lace and silk and adore the beautiful colours. Some women say they don’t think they have the confidence to dress for sex but I think it actually boosts your confidence! Lingerie can hide and soften those bits we all have that we’re insecure about. It can distract from the features we’d rather hide and draw attention to our better assets.

Now I fully accept lingerie isn’t the most comfortable attire on earth however there are lots of very wearable brands on the market now. La Senza  and Victoria’s Secret both sell stunning lingerie sets for everyday wear and even Ann Summers sells gorgeous everyday sets alongside its more elaborate pieces. I also agree that lingerie can be pricey and is a luxury item but none of my many sets are Agent Provocateur  and they are none the less beautiful for it. I can assure my man never notices the thread count when I’m dressed up for him. All the larger high street lingerie chains do large sales a few times a year when bargains can be picked up and online retailers such as Lovehoney and Bondara  regularly run offers on their lingerie.

I find when buying lingerie my main problem is my boobs. Some of my friends tell me I’m lucky to have this issue but I assure them I find myself looking at the sassy little skimpy pieces with sheer jealousy because I know I require NASA style reinforcement to give my tits the support they need. This doesn’t always equate to sexy. More than once I’ve been knicker shopping with my mates only to watch them purchase goodies that I would be lucky to get a nipple in. However this has never stopped me. I’m well aware of how to best take advantage of my best bits. I have a proper hourglass figure and when in certain pieces this gives me a real pin-up look. I’m 90% tits and arse and this suits cami suspenders, chemise, basques and babydolls all accentuating my curves and flattering my figure nicely. I may not be able to wear the tiny skimpy apron type pieces that one of my best friends regularly buys but I rock my stuff just as well in my own way and feel like a total siren when all dressed up.

There is a kind of power to be found in striking someone, a man in particular, dumbstruck through your appearance and nothing does this more effectively than a flash of stocking tops under a skirt. Again stockings can be a minefield and my own preference until recently has always been for actual stockings, usually back seamed, until I came across an absolute gem of a product on Lovehoney  .


Kix’ies are a new kind of hold up and despite my initial scepticism when reading the reviews I was attracted to the range of patterns and purchased some thinking I could always attach suspenders to them if I had to. However they’re an absolute revelation. Kix’ies have 3 bands of elasticated rubber around the top, these actually give them a really modern look and it’s very wearable for everyday, however it also means they stay put a million times better than any hold up I’ve ever worn! I’m so enamoured with Kix’ies that I’ve actually bought about 6 pairs in different colours and styles and they are so wearable I wear them all the time, not just for play. That being said when I do wear them for sex they just don’t move. No matter what, they stay put really well and I highly recommend them for anyone that enjoys wearing stockings or hold ups for sex or just for that vintage look. 

Of course dressing for sex doesn’t end with lingerie. There are a million different outfits that can be used to spark a little lightning into your sex life. Most women have adopted a St Trinians style uniform at some point or other even if it was just for fancy dress. Put your hair in pigtails and wear that pleated skirt and tight white shirt and watch his jaw drop. Or maybe your partner likes you to “nurse” his raging hardon with a bed bath. And everyone knows someone with that penchant for a police uniform (not me I might add I have experience with the real thing and it’s far from sexy lol!). Or maybe adopt a fitted low-cut blouse, pencil skirt and glasses to take down some “dick-tation” as his PA with privileges.

Even if sexy fancy dress and boudoir lingerie isn’t for you there are still many choices. Not much beats the feeling of latex against the skin and often latex outfits are fairly covering for those that don’t have the confidence to strut it with lots of skin on show. My favourite latex designers are Catalyst Latex and Black Sheep Latex who both do some beautiful items and stunning lingerie if you do want a less is more approach.  However not many people would fail to be turned on by a full latex dress. Catsuits are another great option for those who don’t want to bare too much. Even satin slip style negligees can be a good choice if you really can’t bring yourself to go too over the top.

In my experience when you dress for sex and make an effort with your appearance for play, your confidence increases. Although you might initially feel a bit of a plum fastening those stockings and slipping on your heels just wait until you see the reaction. Nothing makes play time more memorable than that look on their face like they want to eat you. The sexier you feel, the more your confidence will soar which in turn leads to a hotter sex life. Who can say no to that?

Affiliate links have been used in this article.

Enter a caption




  1. I totally agree with this, I have been writing a piece today all about me & my ‘fetish’ for sexy underwear, so it must have been in the ‘ether’ today! I wholeheartedly support what you say about the confidence boost it gives.


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.