“This will be the last time I see you”
You drop the phrase casually, like my discarded knickers on the floor beside the bed. I reel. Still laid in the warm sheets heated by our fucking not half an hour before.
I feel the prickle of tears behind my eyes. Rejection chases through my veins, heating my blood and forcing my cheeks to redden.
“We have outgrown this, I think… perhaps there’s just nowhere else to go”
My jaw clenches hard. Teeth grinding. How did you forget this important nugget of information when you arrived at my door? Why did you allow me to kiss you, happy to have you near me? Why did you hold my face and pull me close? Did your cock not get the memo declaring the end of the road? It certainly felt directional.
“I don’t want to lose you…”
My uncomfortable begging hangs in the air, acrid and difficult to swallow. I look down. I can’t bear to meet your eyes. Scared of what I’d see, or maybe what I wouldn’t see. How had I missed what was coming?
Or had I? I’d been aware for some time of how your attention wandered. The conversations I was having with myself. But you were tired, distracted by work, anything to plaster the cracks my mind didn’t want to see.
My pride told me I deserved someone who would at least listen when I spoke. Who wouldn’t leave me after sex, alone, bereft, dripping your cum. But you were busy. It wasn’t me, it was life getting in the way. Why was I so needy?
So what if you couldn’t always answer my messages? You needed your space. This is how you mess things up you see, by being demanding. Nobody wants to feel like a possession. Tormenting myself nightly with thoughts of what you might be doing to keep you from returning my calls.
It was worth it. Because when you were in my bed all dark thoughts were swept away by the unstoppable lust of your touch. The deep emotion I felt as your fingers bought me to shuddering climax, colours exploding behind my eyes. I was certain that my heart thudding in my chest as your tongue swirled around my clit proved this was love.
I finally drag my eyes from the floor. My stomach chills as I meet your impassive stare. The slight sneer curling your lip into a twist of pity.
Fuck, stop!! No more begging. I feel the heat of shame creep over me, mascara stained tears cascading down my cheeks, soaking my naked breasts. I pull the sheet around me for protection.
“What did I do wrong?”
Needing to understand how I’d fucked up, to make sense of the hurt. You sigh. I choke back a sob as you put on the last of your clothes. Pausing as you grab your keys you glance back at me.
“Nothing… I guess you were just something to do.”